Hi Avery,

I am a 51-year-old mother/grandmother. My son is getting married three days before Christmas and I do NOT want to wear a gown—looking at a knee length black dress. What about shoes and jewelry?

I believe congratulations are in order, not only for the upcoming wedding, but for being a hot grandmother with great taste. I’m so happy to hear you’re eschewing the typical mother of the groom floor-length gown for something much more youthful—after all, this is a big day for you, too, and you should look and feel your best.

First off, forget any worries about overshadowing the bride. She is the center of attention, hands down, and no matter what you wear, she’s still the most important woman in the room. That’s not to say no one is going to be checking you out, too, I just mean that you can go absolutely nuts in terms of glitz and glamour without fear of stealing the spotlight. And since you’re wearing black, the accessories world is your oyster.

If I were you, I’d go bold. Sure, understated jewelry and shoes have their time and place, but it’s an extra-special day for everyone involved in the festivities, and you should feel extra-special. I’m willing to bet this wedding is going to be a fun time and you don’t want to look like you’re headed to a funeral. You may not be the princess bride, but you sure as heck should look like a queen.

Option no. 1

This is your chance to bedazzle yourself, so why not take it? Nothing says glamour like black and gold, so don’t hold back when it comes to shoes and accessories. The goal here is to look 24-karat-dipped from head to toe.

Earrings — Macy’s, $35
Shoes — Lord & Taylor, $119.99
Bracelet — J.Crew, $125

Option no. 2

Spice up wintry December by adding a little color. Sparkly lavender pumps are understated and elegant, while a bejeweled statement necklace will look especially striking with a solid black dress. If the look you’re going for was “incredibly stylish and chic,” I think you’ll nail it.

Necklace — J.Crew, $150
Shoes — Lord & Taylor, $215

Option no. 3

If bright jewel tones or shiny gold aren’t your thing, why not stick with tried and true black? Intricate, strappy black stilettos will compliment a black dress and bold red earrings complete the look. This is about the sexiest thing you can wear to your son’s wedding and get away with it.

Earrings — Nordstrom, $48
Shoes — Lord & Taylor, $265