It’s Saturday, Buffalo, and you need a good story for your buddies at work on Monday. Telling the guys around the water cooler “Oh, me and the girlfriend just caught up on season four of Breaking Bad” or gossiping with the gals about how well your Aunt Gertie is doing isn’t going to cut it. You need to get out and experience some real living. You need to have a little edge to your weekend rundown. Pounding a quart of Bison dip during the Texans-Patriots game does not a badass make.

Here are five things you can do on Saturday night that are worthy of cubicle humblebragging well into Wednesday:

1.) Classy Excuse for a Blissed Out Youth. This show at Duke’s (253 Allen St., Buffalo) has everything you need to feel like you’re totally scene: a trio of really good, really innovative Buffalo bands that play interesting pop music that you’re going to enjoy on both an intellectual and rump=shaking level; an Allentown club that skirts the line between delightful and seedy; and a reason to stay out really, really late at night. Joywave, Love Scenes and All Blondes Go To Heaven are well worth your attention. Just go.

2.) DJ Daringer and Scott Down. Look, you’re in Allentown already if you’re going to the Classy Excuse… show. May as well go all in and stop by Hardware (245 Allen St., Buffalo) and check out two of Buffalo’s best behind the boards. Nothing is more satisfying than when you can drop the names of local DJs to your work pals like you know what you’re talking about. “I was at Hardware, Scott Down was spinning funk and old school. Oh, you’ve never been?” You’re damn right it will feel fine. Check it out.

3.) Lance Diamond and the 24K Band. Have you seen Lance Diamond yet? Checking out a Lance Diamond show is a must-do on any Western New Yorker’s list of authenticity. You have to eat wings at the Anchor Bar, cliche as it may seem. You have to make an ass out of yourself at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. You have to shiver your way to North Buffalo on Thanksgiving morning at least once to run the Turkey Trot. And you have to see Lance Diamond on his home turf. If you haven’t done this yet, get to Milkie’s on Elmwood (522 Elmwood Ave., Buffalo)—the former Elmwood Lounge—and experience the magic of Mr. Lance Diamond. And if you don’t know who Lance Diamond is, well, I just don’t know what to tell you.

4.) Tammy Pescatelli. Here’s a good one—check out the new Helium comedy club (30 Mississippi St., Buffalo) down in the Canalside district and have a guffaw or two courtesy of Tammy Pescatelli, the Cleveland comic who has made a big name for herself on Comedy Central. Swing by Lagerhaus 95, home to many long Buffalo.com lunches, while you’re in the neighborhood—good beer, good food. Helium and Lagerhaus are about 20 yards from each other. That, my friend, is convenience.

5.) University at Buffalo men’s basketball vs. Miami (Ohio). OK, so the Bulls aren’t that good this year. And, to be honest, neither is Miami. But this is D-1 basketball, UB is one of our (two, three or four, depending on your basketball math)local hoops home teams, and it really is a quality night of athletic entertainment. Also, the B-shaped soft pretzels at the concession stand are sublime. Get out to Alumni Arena on the UB North campus in Amherst and support those Bulls..