What’s wrong with the kids these days?  Not too long ago, being part of the pot culture meant buying some cheap weed from a seedy hesher in a denim jacket and then rocking Double Dragon II for six hours while other kids played sports, went on dates and developed normal social skills. 

Things have apparently changed. You can get fake stuff in a convenience store.  No, not the kind of convenience store with the windows papered over, three cans of green beans on the shelf and two big guys behind the counter.  Well, maybe it’s that kind of convenience store, but they aren’t selling real weed.  Well, maybe they are, but on the actual shelves you can buy incense winkingly touted as a marijuana substitute as well as candy and pop espousing the corniest sides of the marijuana culture.

The Buffalo News reported Tuesday that “...city lawmakers…said they plan to report to the police and publicly embarrass some neighborhood stores and delis that are selling synthetic marijuana and pot leaf-shaped candy.  Green bags of ‘Pot Pops,’ ‘Potheads’ and ‘Ring Pots’ were showcased during this afternoon’s Common Council meeting in City Hall.  So was a vial of fake pot, also known as ‘K2,’ a product sold as incense but which is smoked and can cause serious health problems.”

First of all: this is so LAME.  Come on, people—who really thinks its cool to smoke K2, an “herbal incense blend…made with organic ingredients including natural plant materials” when actual marijuana is cheap and plentiful?  And is it really that hard to find?

Second: not to say that marijuana is good for you, but it has one ingredient—marijuana.  K2 is a mix of Mugwort, Damiana Leaf, Wild Dagga and Passion Flower.  If you use K2, you are essentially smoking incense—just a horrible idea.  K2 even markets itself as incense (although the illusions to weed and getting high are pretty hard to miss).  It’s mind-boggling that this is even an issue.  Although I guess if you’re dumb enough to smoke incense, you’re smoking incense. 

Will it make you sick?  Quite possibly. As Aaron Besecker of The Buffalo News reported, “The Associated Press reported in April a sharp, nationwide spike in individuals reporting medical problems because of the use of synthetic drugs.  Using data from the American Association of Poison Control Centers, the AP said at least 2,700 people became ill between January and April of this year through the use of these products.”  One more time: it’s not made to smoke, people!

As for the candy—here’s a video about Potheads gummy candy.  Parents, you don’t have much to worry about other than your children’s dental health. 

Ring Pots look equally silly.  Kush pops barely show up in Google searches, so these items are pretty unsophisticated, too.  Concerned parents have to worry as much about pot-laced candy as they do about their kids inadvertently taking LSD by licking stamps. 

THC-laced soda does, in fact, exist—but it’s for medicinal use only.  Doubtful that anything landing in local stores is the real deal because who could afford it?

Hopefully the junior high students of Buffalo—who else could this stuff be targeted towards?—are smart enough to say up with hope, down with fake dope.