The Bills may win five games, but they’re better looking than you.
blog by Ben Tsujimoto • September 08, 2011 @ 10:14am
I knew there was a reason the Bills cut ties with Paul Posluszny and Lee Evans.
In a study by Pennsylvania’s Ursinus College that was initiated and published by The Wall Street Journal, the Buffalo Bills ranked as the NFL’s best looking football team (most attractive facially, at least—we still have our share of 6’6, 320 pounders). The fact that bewilders us the most? Head coach Chan Gailey was deemed incredibly attractive due to his facial symmetry, the decisive factor in attractiveness.
“My wife will be shocked,” Gailey said to The Wall Street Journal through a spokesman. We’re shocked too, Chan.
The Bills’ facial symmetry average was 99.47%; Buffalo’s Week 1 opponent, Kansas City, finished dead last. Even if Buffalo falls flat on its face in the first game—hopefully not literally, because that could hurt our ranking—at least we’ll take consolation in our absurdly good looks. Take that, Jamaal Charles.
Ten players—five from each side of the ball—from each of the 32 NFL team were selected and studied for their facial symmetry. We could be wrong, but Ryan Fitzpatrick’s magical beard must have played a vital role, bent the curve or whatever happens in facial symmetry studies.
Did you know that facial symmetry, how closely the two sides of your face match up, is an important factor in attractiveness and career success? Plastic surgery is cheating! Go Bills.