Ever read any Willa Cather? Here’s a little vignette from her 1906 short story, Paul’s Case: A Study in Temperament:

He was a model usher; gracious and smiling he ran up and down the aisles; nothing was too much trouble for him; he carried messages and brought programs as though it were his greatest pleasure in life, and all the people in his section thought him a charming boy, feeling that he remembered and admired them. As the house filled, he grew more and more vivacious and animated, and the color came to his cheeks and lips. It was very much as though this were a great reception and Paul were the host.

Now ignore the fact that Paul goes on to spur his family and his hometown, steal from his father’s company, escape to New York City to blow his ill-gotten cash and then ends his life by stepping in front of a train in the middle of a Pennsylvania blizzard. Focus instead on the ushering—doesn’t it sound magical!

As noted by our own S.J. Velasquez noted earlier this month, the brand-new Helium Comedy Club will open in Buffalo’s Cobblestone District on Dec. 20 with performances by Rachel Feinstein and a host of local comics. Opie and Anthony sidekick / best-selling author / silly goose Jim Norton will also appear in a series of stand-up performances at the end of December.

Helium, however, is going to need some staff—specifically servers, box office personnel and ushers. If you are looking for work, love to laugh and have an affinity for escorting people to their seats or delivering drinks to good-natured hecklers, this may be the big break you’ve been looking for. Don’t believe me? Consider this: the television show Party Down, a Starz series based on the foibles of a Hollywood catering company, was cancelled in 2010 because its cast (including Adam Scott, Jane Lynch, Lizzy Caplan, Martin Starr, Ken Marino and Megan Mullally, among others) was too busy with other work (also: terrible ratings). Connect the dots, people!

Anyhow, if you are interested in working at Helium, interviews will be held at the club on Monday from noon to 2 p.m.  and 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. No appointments necessary.

Photo from thefilmchair.com.